I Spy With My Eyes... A Dirt Pile

It's been awhile since I've last blogged through no fault of my own. Once finals time rears its ugly head, there's no telling as to when I'll actually have "leisure time." This semester seems to be different, though. Perhaps due to my willingness to expand my horizon ever-so-slightly socially, my schedule seems a bit more spontaneous. The majority of my time was spent out dining, volunteering, and such. An abridged synopsis for Saturday is as follows (other days not included due to time limit hindrances):

Saturday 5/5/07:

1) Volunteered for Trash to Treasure 2) Transferred 100-some trashcans from someone's backyard to the trunk of a beat-up contraption the workers call a "car" 3) Ripped my favorite pair of jeans right in the crotch area whilst transferring, said, trashcans

* Murphy's Law: "If something can go wrong, it will" -- Pants rip, volunteering location farthest location on-campus, 35-minute walk back to dorm wearing ripped pants the day UIL competitions are held on-campus, i.e. people are omnipresent.*

I received quite a few awkward glances but was unwavering: A mindset was established requiring myself to exude an aura of confidence. My theory proposed that if I act sanguinely it would somehow mask the attitudes and opinions of others. I reached a state whereby I simply didn't care what others thought of the situation. So I have an enormous hole in my pants, you have a problem with that?

4) Gathered a group of friends to assist me in my search for new jeans at the mall 5) Bought 3 new shirts instead of pants 6) Ended up going to CiCi's Pizza to eat 7) Managed to devour 15 slices of pizza 8) Sat around for an additional 3 hours at the restaurant discussing names and causes and effects of low self-esteem (A general consensus was met regarding the name Roy -- It personifies a rapist)

Today was pretty much hell. I had stayed up late the night before because I couldn't resist watching Moulin Rouge on TV, which motivated me to demonstrate my vocal skills... until the wee hours of the morning. An 7am alarm had been set for my Genetics exam (the following morning). I accrued a whopping 1.5 hours of sleep. In order to keep myself awake, I purchased a grande-sized cup of caffèllatte this morning in hopes that I would be able to manage staying awake for at least half of the 3-hour exam. The exam wasn't too horrendous, albeit, I was unable to recall anything pertaining to the functions of the proteins at the polyadenylation site for one of the questions. Anyone know?

Because summer classes don't start until May 30th, I planned on staying at home for a week. I, however, had barely started packing the night before and my dormroom check-out time was scheduled at 2pm (it was 12pm at that time). One suitcase the size of a breakfast table was intended for stay at Austin in my friend's apartment whilst the others needed to be packed and transferred to my car within 2 hours. Running to the garage with my international-travel-sized suitcase took about 12 minutes, driving to my friend's apartment took an additional 10 minutes, and dragging the 60-some-pound suitcase by myself up 2 flights of stairs required another 10 minutes. I then had to drive my friend to work (15 minutes) and acquire a temporary permit (valid for an hour) so I can re-park in the parking lot closer to my dorm hall. By the time I made it back to my room, it was 1:10pm. I then had to pack in a maniacal manner. That, however, wasn't tedious at all compared to what came next. All the moving carts had already been lent to other students so I had to manually deliver each box, bag, suitcase, etc. to my car in the 95 degree Fahrenheit Austin weather. It took 20 minutes for me to get one particular suitcase in my car -- I simply had no strength left to lift the 50-pound luggage up off the ground and position it into the trunk. I honestly don't know how I managed to accumulate all the items in my dormroom, but it took me 6 trips to finish loading my car, and each trip left me panting without breath. My muscles were aching; my head was throbbing; my feet were burning. Heck, who am I kidding? My muscles are still aching.

After loading, I had to clean the entire dormroom spotless -- Mirrors, sink, microwave, refrigerator, cabinets, floor, etc. I suppose I received my fair share of strenuous exercise this morning.

Then came the 3-hour drive home, which brings me to my next point: Texan landscape is wretched. Unless you are driving past a city or well-developed town, chances are, you will only see grass -- And no, not beautiful, emerald green grass but dead, yellow grass. Every once in awhile you'll come across a horse or cow gnawing on this dead, yellow grass. Appetizing. There are no significant landmarks on the majority of the Texan landscape. If you were ever lost, how would you manage to find your way when the surrounding is only comprised of flat, yellow terrain? Whilst on my way from Austin to Houston today, I drove by a mound of dirt approximately 10 feet in height I had never seen before on that road . It alarmed me at first because I thought I had taken a wrong exit unbeknownst to me since that mound of dirt had never been there before. The residents of other cities rely on monuments, buildings, rivers, etc. to help them distinguish precisely where they are. Down in the heart of Texas, away from cities, people recognize their location based on the appearance of dirt piles. Pitiful, isn't it? I'm definitely not staying in this state once I am financially stable. Although, there is an advantage to staying here -- Wide, vast terrain you can drive on to your heart's desire when feeling pensive.

It is time to catch up on my much needed sleep.
'Til next time, my little munchkins!

Psychoanalyzation

* Random acknowledgement: It seems so much easier to write about my life than on observations and psychoanalyzations of the environment around me, which was what my previous blog site used to be based on. Memory of that superannuated website, though, warrants today's entry.

People -- Rather broad subject you might think, what could she possibly be thinking? Well, recently, I've noticed that people can be placed into a variety of categories pertaining to their social/public behavior. Other than your ordinary, stereotypical categorization (e.g. blondes, nerds, goths, jocks, etc.); there's a greater scheme.

Recently, one of my older friends finally opened up her grocery store, located in some random corner in town that I doubt I'll ever be able to find again. Everyone gathered in this newly furbished, crowded store to take advantage of the "Opening Day: Half Price on everything along with free Gifts if you exceed $50 in purchases." Unfortunately, there were only 2 cash registers; and what made it worse, only one of the registers was attached to a scale, making it impossible to accept credit cards on the other. And might I add, people need to learn to read prior to going shopping... When the sign says "Cash only" it means CASH ONLY.

Being as hectic as it was, I volunteered to help at one of the booths. Throughout the course of the day, not only was I yelled at by the customers for the cash register's inability to accept credit cards, but I was also reprimanded for people cutting in line. I'm sorry I don't have a cattle prod to herd all these inconsiderate whiners around? But, there were people there who understood and were considerate of how chaotic the situation was (with only 4 people working and a non-ending line of customers); not to mention some of the items were accidentally not price-tagged, and hence, a third line of people waiting to inquire on the amount of their items formulated.

The store opened at 10am and the lines still hadn't died down by 1pm, the four of us all working without having had breakfast nor lunch, except these other 3 people were getting paid for taking crap from these insensitive shoppers, in which case I will say: THE CUSTOMER IS *NOT* ALWAYS RIGHT.

Come 1:30pm everyone was exhausted; the customers, irriated. So, inevitably, a fight took place. Here is where I state how I have come to characterize people given these types of situations.

• The belligerent type
• The complainers
• The type of people who mutter under their breath
• The shy ones
• Those who are courteous and learn to suck it up
  

Belligerents:

Whilst in the middle of placing a shopper's items into grocery bags, I hear screaming and look up. Initially, I thought it was just a typical argument between 2 people, but then I saw fists flying in the air. The raison d'etre behind this brawl? Person #2 cut infront of person #1 in the check-out line. Surprisingly, I actually felt sorry for the guy who let his anger and frustration get the better of him to lead him to physically abuse the other person for having jumped in line. Not only did this man embarrass himself AND his wife infront of a crowd of spectators, but he also has to drive home with his wife bickering from the passenger seat, criticizing him for having handled the situation in such a barbaric manner.

People characteristic of person #1 have serotonin and dopamine inbalances, making it hard for them to control their emotions... but that doesn't mean they can't!

Complainers:

Moving up the ladder, we have the people who whine to 1) attract attention and/or 2) make others see how much they're suffering- looking for sympathy, empathy, or whatever the hell they can get. Unable to understand that *everyone* had been waiting in line for eternity and that we were trying our best to speed the process up so the shoppers are able to return home quickly, these select few still consistantly inundate the staff with a plethora of insults and complaints even after every one of us apologized for the inconvenience.

It sounded something like this:
"Why is this so f-ing slow! I need to hurry home, can't you people speed up the process?! You want me to die of old age from waiting or what?!"
'I'm sorry sir, we're trying our best; but as you can tell, it's opening day and everything is extremely hectic.'
"I know it's opening day, I understand that.. BUT I NEED TO GET HOME!"

It seems as if these people see themselves as the sole ruler of the universe. Everything has to go their way, else, it's time to pile a barrage of criticisms until their every need is met.

Muttering Fools:

Now, when I say fool, I don't mean to ridicule this type of people. They are only foolish in that they *think* you can't hear them muttering under their breath when, in reality, the counterparty can hear every word, usually whilst laughing on the inside.

As the next group of customers approached the check-out booth, I was ready to receive some more verbal bashings. Two sisters stepped up to my register and with beaming smiles said, "You guys must be tired as hell! Definitely deserve a break, very busy day today." At this point, I was extremely relieved that there are still people out there who aren't so self-absorbed and constantly looking for self-satisfaction and self-justification. After some silence, they started talking again, except this time it wasn't directed at me; oh yes, they were muttering... "Can't believe they're so slow, taking forever."
"They need to hire better workers, see how slow she's putting my food in? And why do I need 2 bags for one bottle of sauce? She's just trying to waste our time."
"I shouldn't be required to pay for this kind of service."

Why must people put on a façade? Backstabbing isn't any better than blatantly telling the harsh truth or spitting out insults. And just for the record, I chose to *slowly* put her *glass* bottle of sauce in *2* bags so she wouldn't have the hassle of having to clean everything up in case she dropped the sauce and the bottle shatters.

Timid Individuals:

This category is pretty much self-explanatory. Although they are not entirely satisfied with how a situation is handled or degree to which it is handled (i.e. effectiveness, efficiency, competence), they are unable to take any action. Not only that, I had also noticed that those who are shy don't have the ability to defend themselves. Unlike the belligerent fellow, timid individuals don't stand up for themselves when someone cuts infront of them in line. I am not saying that fighting someone else for your rightful place is the humanitarian thing to do in situations such as these, I am merely stating that although it is obvious some people who are extremely timid feel adamantly about something, they refuse to make their ideas/beliefs heard.

Courteous and Considerate Personages:

This group of people is extremely hard to find... but when you do, make sure you befriend them and keep in touch because in all likelihood, you won't find another. In a world where 99% of the popluation believe that the "good guys always finish last," very few actually stop to consider someone else's feelings and walk a mile in someone else's shoes.

From 10am till 3pm I worked in this little store; and repeatedly, I was put down by these self-centered and ungrateful shoppers. But, every once in awhile, I'd receive an appreciative thank-you from a customer. No, not a "thank-you for getting paid to do this," not an automated "thanks for putting my stuff in a bag," and definitely not a "thanks a lot, now I'm going to be late for my doctor's appointment," instead... a thank-you for being there. Who would have the dignity, patience, and motivation to resume working if all he or she gets are insults anyway? Do you derive satisfaction through others misery? I certainly hope not.

These people made my day -- Learn from them.

Where Art Thou, Lady Luck?

It is approximately 2:30am currently, and I just finished studying for tomorrow morning's Medical and Scientific Terminology exam. The course itself isn't too demanding, however, the exams are abhorrent. Each exam covers roughly 1000 terms, yet, there are only 45 questions on the entire exam, meaning the other 955 words, (their descriptions, significances, repercussions, etc.) that I spent hours of my time memorizing and understanding were basically a waste of my time. The warrant for today's entry, however, isn't to spiel about futile terminologies; instead, a rant on other matters is in order.

Perhaps it's Karma, maybe I'm whiney, or, possibly, I lack the patience and empathy I used to possess -- I don't know. It seems as though Lady Luck has not been on my side as far as randomly selecting a roommate goes. I potlucked for a roommate my sophmore year of college hoping to expand my social circle, I suppose. Not only did I not become friends with my assigned roommate, I actually developed a fear for her. She's one of those... "angry people," as if the entire universe is somehow indebted to her and must yield to her every demand. 90% of her conversations incorporated some form of expletive, items were catapulted against the dormroom wall to express her frustration, tears were shed and conflicts were sprung when her mother couldn't answer a proposed question. The room was always filled with a cloud of alcohol and tobacco scent because she can't rid herself of her repugnant addiction. She always chose to either scream on the phone, watch TV, or invite friends over (sometimes all at once) when I'm in bed. I had a hectic schedule that fall semester with rowing/weight training from 5:30 - 8:30am, 9 - 3:30pm classes, and 5 - 9pm rowing practice, leaving little time for a nice sleep. She had to ruin the little time I had with her erratic behavior. It's not that I didn't make an effort to be her friend, either. My attempts were often reciprocated with a shrug, glare, or silence.

Come the end of November, I simply couldn't accept that environment anymore, so I filed for a room-change. My new roommate, who ironically has the same first name as my former roommate, is one of those... "vain people." High shrieks of laughter, southern accent, continuous phoning, multiple pairs of shoes of the same style but in every possible color, no sense of "quiet," indignancy, narrow-mindedness, unrealistic sense of self-worth, overly dramatic, and lack of courtesy pretty much describes the aura she exudes. Supposedly, the world revolves around her and her problems, whereby everyone should drop their current tasks in order to resolve her paramount issues. Additionally, she brings paranoia upon herself by over-analyzing the most insignificant elements and forces others to do so as well. She constantly pressures others to provide her with advice, yet, never applies any of them. Analogously, she's a Hummer running on an alkaline battery -- She instantaneously drains the energy shamelessly and directly out of me.

I suppose certain aspects of my life have transformed me into a person who's less empathetic, patient, altruistic, and (in general) nice. I used to be regarded as being "too nice" to a point of unbelievable generosity. I hold a different perspective now -- Help what and when you can, but don't push yourself over the edge. You need enough energy for yourself first before you are capable of truly assisting someone else.

Good night, all.